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category Blog, Fear, mindfulness

Are You Feeling Stuck?

by Jane Ewins, Wellbeing & Spiritual Coach

I’ve yet to meet a person who hasn’t felt stuck at some time.


In my experience, it is difficult to get “unstuck” unless we understand how we get stuck in the first place. 


Unless we do some honest inner reflection, we tend to blame something, someone or some situation. We don’t see that the cause is actually inside us.



 

When we think that something, someone or some situation is “causing” our stuckness and suffering – we think we have to get the thing, person or situation to change or perhaps get rid of it/them altogether.


 Doing this, we may feel some short-term relief, but soon enough something else will show up to trigger the old feeling of being stuck. Why? Because the real cause is still there!

 And that real cause is the cage of beliefs, habits, and thoughts each of us builds about ourselves, other people and the world at large.



Some common examples are:



  • “In the end, people can’t be trusted.”

  • “I have to do everything myself.” 

  • “Other people always know better than me.” 

  • “It’s tough out there.” 

  • “It’s not safe to tell the truth.”
  • “I don’t know enough about….” 


…and so on – the list is endless!


Behind all our negative beliefs, habits and thoughts is fear.
 Gregg Braden says there are 3 universal fears:



  1. The fear of separation and abandonment
  2. The fear of our low self-worth
  3. The fear of surrendering and trusting.


We become stuck because “something” is triggering one or more of those fears. We hold back from taking action. We are stuck to fear and we suffer.



The good news is that we don’t have to stay stuck!
 
Over the past decade, I’ve reflected and spent time reading and listening to wise teachers, particularly Eckhart Tolle.

A major turning point for me was when I heard Eckhart  say:
 “Challenges will always be a part of life, but suffering is optional.” 
I knew in my heart that was true – and challenged myself to actually experience it!


And now I actually know through personal experience that practising presence, trusting and accepting life as it unfolds does reduce suffering. The number of times I feel stuck has greatly diminished, and I rarely stay stuck for long. As a bonus I feel more at home with myself, far more creative and free.


So I’d like to pass on to you how you can “unstuck” yourself and reduce suffering:



  • Observe your thoughts and feelings, they are not truly real – watch them as an objective observer.
  • Be present. Become still (on the inside).
  • Accept. Don’t resist what is happening – trust there is a purpose or message in everything and surrender to love and trust.
  • Trust that the universe/ divine energy-wisdom/Life/God knows the full picture and your part in it.
  • Love, be kind and recognise that underneath we are all one and everything is unfolding for the greater good.

 This doesn’t mean we blithely let people do bad stuff to us. Actually, you’ll find you are more discerning and make effective choices when practising presence, acceptance, trust and love!


Fabulous people I have learned from include:

Eckhardt Tolle

Gregg Braden 


Mike George

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